Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Babbling brook of consciousness

I signed on to my blog just now because I remembered how in my last post, I had apologized profusely for not writing and being inexcusably lazy, and had promised to remedy the situation, starting NOW. So, in an effort to make good on that promise, I figured I might as well just sign on to the old blog and see what I have to say, even if I can't think of anything interesting to share at the moment. It's like one of those creative writing exercises! "Fill up a blank page with whatever comes to mind, just keep that pencil moving!"

But actually, does anyone ever actually light upon a fantastic idea while scrawling self-indulgent drivel on a piece of paper? Stream of consciousness exercises are to writing what word association exercises are to therapy -- filler. Stream of consciousness exercises are what happens when your Learning Annex professor wants to go take a "cigarette" break and needs to keep the class busy for 11 minutes or so while he goes to his Volvo to get his rolling papers. Oh, and speaking of word association, one of my favorite scenes from the movie "What About Bob" is when an unwitting Bob is being driven by his therapist, Dr. Leo Marvin, to the mental institution where he will be committed for observation:

Bob: Where are we going?
Dr. Leo Marvin: Intensive psychotherapy.
Bob: Wahoo! Okay, some free associations from my infancy. A beach ball. A dog. A log. A poodle. A noodle. A doodle.

So, be warned -- this post may turn out to be of the poodle/doodle/noodle variety.

Here are some things I definitely won't be discussing in this blog post:

- the Pennsylvania primary
- abortion art at Yale
- Earth Day or anything involving being "green"
- the goings-on in Kenya
- Richie Sambora
- the Boston marathon

Things I am tempted to write about, but won't:

- this month's "Red-Hot Read" in Cosmo
- naan, and why it is so good
- my sore throat and runny nose
- the Real Housewives of New York City
- the weather

Okay, so here's what I am actually going to share with you today. I am shamelessly stealing this idea from Perez Hilton, but the video (and the accompanying New Yorker article) are fascinating, so everyone should take a look. This is a video of a man, Nicholas White, who was trapped in an elevator at his work for 41 hours. The video is from the security cameras and only takes a few minutes to watch -- really unsettling and interesting!

http://www.newyorker.com/online/video/2008/04/21/080421_elevators/?yrail

Anyway, that's all I've got for you today. Just be thankful I spared you some free associations from my own infancy.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Flog

The title of this post refers to the harsh flagellation I deserve for falling off the blogodar for so long.* There's really no good excuse for it, as usual. But I want to tell you some of the things I have done since last writing, just so you won't think I've been sitting on the couch reading Marie Claire and eating Ho Ho's.

I have:

- gone hang gliding in Rio. I gained a huge dose of confidence in my chances of not crashing to my death after seeing a pudgy, middle aged patron go ahead of me.

- drank *several* caipirinhas over the course of my 8 day vacation to Brazil, each of which could be (and probably was) described (by me) as "the best caipirinha I've ever had in my LIFE, you guys."

- smoked my first cigar. Clean living!

- negotiated the crap out of a fake divorce settlement in my Negotiation Workshop (super depressing, yet rewarding)

- finished a first draft of a long-ass research paper, which makes me feel like I don't actually have to do any more work this semester, despite having several final exams and papers to prepare for.

- watched a full season of 'Real Housewives of New York City' on Bravo. Typical dialogue from the show:
Alex: "My children, Francois and Johan, have a French au pair who ONLY speaks to them in French. They're fluent now. We are just so lucky to be raising our children to be bilingual."
*Jump to shot of French au pair and children eating breakfast.*
French au pair: (in English) Francois, can you say "cereal" in French?
Francois: *sullen silence.*
French au pair: Francois? How about "milk?" Remember how I taught you this word?
Francois: I HATE milk. I want sparkling white grape juice!

- narrowly avoided getting dengue fever in a creepy, dank, mosquito-infested hostel in Buzios

- hung out with elderly Azorean ladies at a local Portuguese community center.

- got my butt (and various other body parts) handed to me on a plate by a gym class called Body Bar. It has been almost three days since I did the class, and it still hurts to sit. And walk. And lift my arms. I am DEFINITELY doing it again next week.

- eaten almost half a pound of Twizzler's Pull & Peel with my boyfriend. That's half a pound EACH, incidentally.

- found an apartment in Washington, DC for this summer with my roommate, yay.

There's probably more stuff. But as you can see, I've been a busy girl. Twizzlers, Real Housewives, masochistic workout classes -- my plate is quite full right now. Speaking of masochistic workouts, I am going to scurry off to the gym now. Promise I'll be better at blogging once finals are over. PROMISE.

*We need WAY more words to describe the world of blogging, hence "blogodar." Patent pending.