Sunday, November 16, 2008

Evilitamins

I feel it is my duty as a vigilant consumer to inform others about products out there that may make them barf. It's especially important to warn people off of "vitamins" that will make them barf, I think, because if you barf up your vitamin, then what's the point, really?

So, here's the deal: I bought these One-a-Day All Day Energy vitamins this summer in DC, kind of on a whim, partly because I was intrigued by the idea of a combination vitamin AND energy booster, and mostly because I still have the One-a-Day jingle from the '90s stuck in my head, and probably always will ("One-a-Day people, healthy people, for everybody there's a One-aaaa-Daaaay...").

Shortly after I bought the vitamins, I decided to take one before going to the gym one morning. Expecting a wonderful energy boost, I was somewhat dismayed when five minutes later, I was curled in a fetal position on my bed, dry-heaving. After a few minutes of intense, crippling nausea, the feeling passed, and I got up and went to the gym. Being Stephanie, I didn't think anything of it, and continued to take the vitamins a few more times that summer, despite the fact that they made me want to toss my cookies every time I took them.

I think because I took the vitamins so infrequently, I didn't connect the dots and realize that the gross vitamins were actually the ones responsible for the waves of nausea that overtook me every time I swallowed one. Yeah. The last straw came a month or so ago, when I took a One-a-Day and found myself, again, lying curled in my bed fighting off the impulse to hurl. Lying there, I suddenly realized, "Holy crap, these vitamins are EVIL." It took me a while, but I got there. This is sort of like the time it took me two years to figure out that I was giving myself stomach ulcers and slowing my heartbeat down with ibuprofen. These are all signs that I should probably not enter a career in the medical field (sorry, University of Phoenix).

Anyway, I was so weirded out by these vitamins that I went online to see what other people have said about them, and I found that they have made other people violently ill. Plus, they're LOADED with caffeine and guaranĂ¡, that crazy Amazon berry that os brasileiros are obsessed with. I read some of the comments online about the vitamins and here is a select sampling:

"Started having major sleep disturbances, waking up seeing things on the wall like images, not feeling right, breathing, very tired feeling, chest pains, up now at 4:30 a.m. because of this, and came to read the back of product and seen that one pill contains as much caffine as a cup of coffee, that's terrible. Guess it's my fault for not reading the label. I already have high blood pressure so this product is definetly not a good recommendation. Stopping usage of this product today!!"

"I am 25 and I took them. I had to stop when they kept making me vomit. A nutritionist suggested I try an organic vitamin instead because the iron in those cheap vitamins can be really hard to digest."

"Into my second bottle, I noticed I was anxious...I was gritting my teeth and just couldn't relax. It was like I was holding my breath and I had to consciously attempt to relax. I attributed it to daily stress. After continued high blood pressure and chest pains, I went to the ER where they suggested I get a pacemaker!! Since I passed the treadmill stress test and Holter monitor, they decided against it. I stopped taking the vitamins and things are slowly getting back to normal."

So, just a few side effects, I guess: nausea, anxiety, nightmares, hallucinations, chest pain, vomiting, high blood pressure, bad spelling. I guess One-a-Day apparently subscribes to the belief that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But these vitamins seem like they might actually kill you. I guess I probably won't take them anymore. Or I'll just keep taking them and have a defibrillator handy...either way.

2 comments:

  1. I think I had an evilitamin. I wanted to throw up for 2 minutes straight, about 5 minutes after I took it. Those things are deadly!

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  2. Wait, really? Did you take one of mine? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better? Boo vitamins!

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